February 28. It’s been an entire year since I moved and left Savannah. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times- a year can truly change your whole world. February 28, 2016 I said an extremely difficult goodbye to a chapter of my life. While it is not a secret, half of the time I spent in Savannah was the darkest days of my life, I also had some of my best there. Savannah holds more memories than I’d ever be able to write about. My life was completely obliterated in Savannah, but it was also the place where I slowly rose from the ashes. I truly learned who I was there. I learned my strength and struggles. I learned how to become a nurse. I developed a friendship much thicker than blood could ever be. I grew in my faith. It became my safe haven.
My therapist and psychiatrist. One of the best friends I’ve ever had. My small group. My friends that had become family. My condo (that helped change my life). I was leaving behind all the mistakes, regrets, anguish and pain, but that also meant leaving behind my safety net and comfort zone. I was leaving behind my happy.
I would like to say I didn’t look back, but I did. I second guessed myself more times than I’d like to admit. I struggled the first months. After a few months, I decided I had made a huge mistake leaving Savannah . I was miserable, Ronnie was miserable. I didn’t see any hope of things getting better. I cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. I drove around for hours because I felt like I had nowhere or go, no one to talk to. I was so lost. I sobbed on FaceTime to my friends in Savannah.
I even Skyped my therapist there. But slowly, so slowly I didn’t even notice, I was beginning to settle. I found a new therapist near my house. Ronnie started going with me. I reconnected with old friends. I got to see my family a lot more. I started to feel like I could finally breathe again.
Eventually the days I cried myself to sleep and had anxiety attacks in the shower began to occur less frequently. Until hardly ever anymore. I started to bloom. My relationship with Ronnie flourished. We eloped and are now planning my dream wedding. I have met new friends and have a new job that I love. This life is very different from last year’s February 28th. Leaving Savannah was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It makes today a little bittersweet. My life is different in every way I could have imagined. It is so much better. I’ve realized I can be sad and sentimental today on this anniversary. Being a little nostalgic doesn’t mean I haven’t found a new happy. Because I have.
I can’t wait to see what I write about next February 28th. And even more than that- I can’t wait until February 28th can pass by and it not be an anniversary that holds any sadness. It won’t be a day to remember the past and look back. February 28th will just be another day.