Last month my dad got married. Two weekends ago my friend got married- and fun fact: I actually officiated the wedding. Last week my childhood best friend got married. I have also created the outline for the new program I am leading with high school and college age girls. My CVOR nursing job has been hectic. I am planning the first Thanksgiving ever I will be hosting. I am also planning MY wedding.
Did you like how I casually threw in that last sentence? I’m getting married people! Like finally can tell everyone and can change my name and can stop saying I’m “married-ish.”
First things first though, weddings are exhausting and fleeting and exciting and every other possible emotion. My dad’s wedding (yes, the one that disappointed me a few blog posts back) was just an all-around dumpster fire. It doesn’t help that a dumpster fire could also describe my relationship with my father currently. I played the music for the wedding. I USED to play the piano, but then I quit, but somehow I agreed to play a few songs for him. All in all, the music turned out fine, but it was definitely more that I bargained for when I said yes. Anyways, my dad was so nervous he couldn’t even hold the rings. The awning on the dock blew into the water which my brother had to fish out with a rake 5 minutes before the ceremony started. The “pastor” was someone my dad randomly met that used to be in a gang. They met at AA. His sermon consisted of reciting numbers that didn’t add up and quoting Bible verses about water- because we were on the lake. Besides it being one of the weirdest things I have attended, it was actually kind of pretty. Ironic.
My new favorite thing is officiating weddings. I already have two more lined up for next fall and I can hardly wait. I was more nervous than I was anticipating to officiate, but it was my first wedding and we didn’t do a rehearsal dinner. The ceremony was beautiful and everything went smoothly. I did however have to go home immediately after the ceremony though because I felt so bad. Sinus infection plus a nervous tummy plus a glass or two of champagne didn’t make a good combination.
Obviously the weddings the last few weekends have taken a lot of time and planning. I have OCD, so I have to have things in order. I like structure. I like lists. I constantly have about 7 different lists at the same time. It was easy enough for me to create my outline for my new program. It is very structured. But that is about where the structure in my life stops. My job is so unpredictable even from day to day. Then I am planning Thanksgiving at my house and it will be the first time my family and Ronnie’s family have all been together in the same place. Between coordinating people and food and time and trying to make the introductions as smooth as possible, I am literally losing my hair! (Okay, it may have a small bit to do with me still lightening my hair at the salon, but just a little!) Let me also mention that next week is Ronnie’s birthday so we can add that birthday planning to the mix.
Lately I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions. There isn’t any number of lists that can make life perfect every single day. There is a lot of things on my plate right now, and it will only multiply until the end of the year. My wedding is New Year’s Eve. So, only about one month away. I will post another blog dedicated to just my special day… or two. Long story! Anyways, being stressed out drains me. It keeps me up at night and losing sleep is a huge trigger for me. The holiday season and weddings- especially my wedding should make me happy. But naked truth- sometimes I get so caught up in all my problems, things that I need to do or planning to make sure everything is perfect, I completely overlook the joy. It makes me shut down or be irritable. I pick fights and get angry. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean. Bottom line is this: I know life is crazy. I know life is stressful. Even good stress is stress. But at the end of the day, life is too short. Don’t say things you don’t mean in a moment of anger. Pick and choose your battles. Enjoy decorating the Christmas tree, even if it takes three Home Depot runs to get more lights because all of last year’s lights don’t work. Don’t stress about who is cooking what on Thanksgiving. Eat the piece of pumpkin cheesecake. Don’t let life overwhelm you so much that you forget to see its beauty.